By James Shepherdson
According to some of the latest numbers, there are over 10000000000000000000000000000000 different types of phage on Earth, and frankly, that’s a lot more zeros, I think, than most people like to think about. These … things … have infiltrated everything that we as humans hold dear – the homes we live in, the places we work and play, and even the very food we eat.
THIS IS THE ENEMY
In short, ladies and gentlemen, they are a menace. As many as 900 million phages can be found in a single milliliter of seawater where they are most common – plotting, likely, their overthrow of global stability as we know it. Under some definitions, they aren’t even alive. You read that right: undead phages.
“But what can I do?” you ask. “How can I join the fight to drive these monsters back?” The answer is simple: as the great tactician Sun Tzu said, “Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” I’m afraid to say that we’ll be fighting 100 octillion times as many battles, but our experts say that the same principle should still apply … probably, at least for a given definition of “without disaster.”
Our only hope lies in finding out what makes these things tick. If, perhaps, we could foment rebellion and desertion within their ranks, we might stand a chance against their inevitable onslaught. We can only pray that our research will be completed before it’s too late. Support Phage Hunters, and remember: United, we can fight the phage menace!